RE-BIRTH

Unbelievable. Are you kidding me? Of all days to sign divorce papers, I sign them on my Birthday?  My special day is now tainted?  Absolutely not!

One of my favorite books I have ever read is the Alchemist. It has many themes throughout it, and one of them is to pay attention to the Omens that are presented to you, as you go through your life’s journey. On my Birthday in 2015, I was visiting a gift shop on Proctor Street. The type that is filled with all sorts of fun nick-knacks, and what-knots.  I was meandering around the store, looking at all of these things, smelling the soaps and lotions, and touching the soft scarves as I walked by them. I remember that I stopped at table near the back of the store and found a book of my daily horoscopes.  I thumbed through the pages, and found the page specific to the date of my birthday. Inside it read….

Those who know me well, know that this little Omen is very true of me.

I met my husband in college. He was a year younger, and getting a degree in Education. I was graduating and headed off to nursing school, or something along those lines. On some level it was a fairy tale romance, two kids falling in love! I was 23 and he was 22, and after five months of dating, he got down on one knee, and eight months later marked our wedding Anniversary. August 1, 1998. Talk about marrying hastily! We didn’t care though, we were in love, and excited to start our life together.

Anyways, after reading this, I smirked and took a picture of it. Our marriage wasn’t the best,  but it certainly wasn’t the worst either. At least in my mind. Little did I know of the aftermath to follow in the up-coming months. Never in my mind did it occur to me that I would be signing my divorce papers on my Birthday.

Its now been a full year since my divorce has finalized. As I reflect back, I am reminded of my broken heart and broken marriage. I’m reminded of the sleepless nights, the dreadful sadness, and the death of the life I once had. It was a bitter sweet day a year ago from today. I had gone to work that day, I was a school teacher, and I remember that my students were cooperative and worked hard that day. A nice gift indeed. I actually enjoyed my career on that day. I drove down to my Attorneys office after work, and marked the papers. It felt like a test that I had been preparing and studying hard for, finally completed, and I was walking out the door.  Thank God that’s over with!  What a Relief!

I got in my car, put my hands on the wheel, and thought to myself….”now what?” I was excited that it was my Birthday, but struggling with the gift I had received. Or was it an Omen?…How do I continue forward with a positive mindset about today? So what does a single girl do? Call on her Tribe of course! Call on the women who are by your side, support you, love you on your best and worst days, and  go have a beer with them! I’m not much of a planner. I am a last minute type of gal, but was lucky enough to get hold of one of my compadres, and we agreed to meet.

We met up at a neighborhood watering hole. It was a Monday and busy. The Randall was in full swing, running the beer over fresh hops, and enhancing the savor of the frosty suds, that the locals were clearly enjoying. The door squeaked as it always does, and so did the floor, as I made my way inside. I looked around and spied a booth below the front window on the left hand side. As I walked to the table, the musty smell of this historic establishment graced my nose, pictures hung on the wall reminiscent of Tacomas past. I sat down on the worn green bench, and was approached by the Randall Craftsman himself. I call him the “Happiest Man in Tacoma”.  He always greets everyone with a smile, has a carefree way about him, and is kinda-of a goof- ball. I ordered my beer and waited for my girlfriend.

The wind followed her in, swinging the door gently open for her, and I was greeted with a big smile and a hug. Just what I needed. As we settled into our spot…she squealed. “Happy Birthday!” Her big brown eyes and rosy cheeks, greeting my smile. “Thaaaanks” I replied, matching her sarcasm, with undertones of WTF just happend, I’m officially divorced!

This woman is amazing. Her mindset, her outlook, and her energy. If you don’t have a positive force of women in your life, I highly recommend you surround yourself with several. I certainly have. This lady has weathered her way through her own storms and battles. She wears the scars of a fighter, who never give up, on her heart.  After some small chat, I ask her how I set my mind right. She proceeds to tell me that she doesn’t look at New Years Eve as a time to reflect on her life,  evaluate where she is, and where she is going. However, it is her Birthday that is the day for this type of reflection. Her very beginning. My very beginning. She goes on to explain to me that today is my rebirth, and it makes perfect and absolute, beautiful sense, that today is the day I start breathing as a new woman in my new life. Today symbolizes the start of new song in which I will compose, and enjoy from its very beginning until it’s very end. It made perfect sense to me.

I loved what she said and ran with it. It was definitely a day to celebrate a new start. As it is now, I am in the midst of figuring it out. Creating a visual for what I want my life to look like. I am taking a solid look at my hopes and dreams. I had lost some of them along the way, over the course of a marriage that practically lasted a childhood, but I am determined to find them again. I am very grateful for the space to discover ME again. Not many are able to take a break from life, and take care of themselves. I hired a life coach. I started this blog. I started on-line dating for goodness-sakes! (Which could be a blog in itself!) Layers are slowly being peeled back, revealing this amazing little life I am co-creating with the universe. I am making myself vulnerable for my true, higher-potential. Here I am, moving forward, away from the death of my marriage, and enjoying the birth of my new life.  I am grateful for the strength and growth that I have gained over the year from challenges, struggles, and heart-aches. Now a year later, I continue to be strong willed and more self-reliant than I ever have been. I continue to analyze everything (obviously), I am fond of sports (The Seahawks for sure) and excitement (West Coast Swing, beautiful hikes, and roller coasters)! I am enjoying having my loving family and friends around me, and making new acquiescences. If you signed your divorce papers today, whether it be your birthday or not, know that now you have a great opportunity to create a new blueprint. It’s not easy creating a new version from scratch, but I know deep down in my heart, it can be done. So Happy Re-BIRTHDAY to me! Anyone want to grab a beer? Hey DWT’s!! You know where I will be! Cheers!